New York, I Love You

To my love of city lights and satellite starry nights, to my peaceful siren lullabies, all you can drink mimosas, Gray's Papaya, and the 3AM hangover burger. To the city that never sleeps, so all the calories from those Beard Papa's cream puffs and cronuts can never settle. 

To the Halal Vendor on 53rd and 6th Avenue... Where the lines are always long, and ordering whatever it is that's in that red sauce makes you feel a little dangerous. With you, I'm a bad, bad girl.

To the Original Shake Shack, Crumbs Bakery, and Rosa Mexicano... Boston Rosa, when I have your duck and mole enchiladas, I feel like I don't even know you anymore. It's a nice gesture that you've taken it off your menu, but my heart belongs to your Lincoln Center location. 

To Central Park and 5th Avenue... I always thought that walking from 110th to 59th street was considered "hiking". I have now realized that either that's not true, or what the rest of the world considers hiking is really "mountain climbing". 

To the Corner Bodega... You have everything I could possibly ever need without having anything I actually want. How DO you do that? Now that I think about it though, I always want a Marinos italian ice on a hot summer day. Always. 

this is the only ice you'll ever need.

To the Empire State Building, Chrysler Building, Ellis Island, and Statue of Liberty... I haven't a clue as to your exact location and probably never, ever will. Sidenote: apparently when I say that the Empire State Building is by Macy's to tourists, it's not helpful. 

To This Article Right Here:
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/john-skylar/new-yorkers-rude_b_3870699.html

To Yellow Cabs... You're all f&@*ing nuts, but tell the most amazing stories. Don't believe me? Strike up a conversation with your next borderline psychotic NYC taxi cab driver. Don't worry about him being too distracted talking to you, he's not watching the road anyway. 

To Doctor Zizmor... Just how have you been? Have you retired from making people's faces beautiful yet? After all your Subway marketing, do you know that you only have 5 reviews on Google? Have you fired your PR representative? 

To the Corner Chinese Joints... Where you can order fried chicken wings and french fries, and cover them in ketchup and hot sauce because that's what normal human beings do.

To the fact that when I think of you, I never think of the way Penn Station smells at 11pm on a Friday, or the musty and bitter stench coming from the armpits of the gentleman next to me on a crowded, non air conditioned subway car. I don't think of the inflation of metro card fares, the amount of money it costs to live in a studio the size of my office, the people from the Jersey Shore, or the fact that our rats are almost big enough to pay taxes. I only think of the pride that I have to have been born in such a fantastic city filled with dreams, wonder, and a melting pot of cultures and people. 

New York, I'll be home soon.